Please Welcome

Captain Donald Cragen to the world of Blogdom!!! Yay!!!




Now If we could just Get Captain Deakins and Lt. Van Buren and Dr. George. That would rock!

Watch out Cragen, I like older guys. *evil laughter ensues*

Twas The Night Before A Non-Denominational Winter Holiday

Enjoy this clip featuring Larry The Cable Guy reading the PC version of Twas the Night Before Christmas.

You Are Rudolph

Sweet and shy, you tend to be happiest when you're making someone else happy. Why You're Naughty: You sometimes stick that nose where it doesn't belong Why You're Nice: Christmas would be a sad affair without you!

Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?

I did not know this about myself

...but it sounds true enough...

You Are a Bloody Mary

You're a fairly serious drinker, who's experimented a lot with different drinks. You're a drunk, but a stable drunk. You don't ever let your drinking get out of control.

What Mixed Drink Are You?

Sounds like me though i haven't kissed anyone lately. i need a life *sigh*

You're a Shy Kisser

You *do* love to kiss, once your comfortable with it And that means knowing the person you're kissing pretty well You usually don't make the first move when it comes to making out But you've got plenty of intensity in return

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Probably has something to do with not trusting men which comes from that thing I want to blog about but can't because I don't want to tell the whole world.

Better Stop Before I Find out something I don't wanna know.

Your Personality Profile

You are pure, moral, and adaptable. You tend to blend into your surroundings. Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends. You believe that you live a virtuous life... And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye. As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Let's See What I Can Talk About Today

Well, today I sneezed. I know what you're thinking but stick with me, my story gets better. My mom was in the room when I sneezed and when I did I grabbed my lower abdomen. I felt this weird pain like toothpicks being stuck into me from the inside. My mom said "you should get in a more comfortable position when you sneeze again." I said "Why? It was just a sneeze that made me twinge. No big deal right?"

To which my mother replied "Why do you think I had a hysterectomy?"

To which I replied "Because you had a shitload of fibroids" actually it was more like "because you had a shitload of fibroi...ohhh...it hurt like that when you sneezed."

She said "yep. I used to strech my legs out when I felt it coming on."

I started to get upset and began to argue "but, i've been laproscoped,ct scanned, had 2 trans-vag ultrasounds, and more pelvics than i care to think about. they found nothing each time. If it's there they can't see it with today's technology or it's too small to see."

To which she replied "well, they didn't find mine until 6 years after I started having the pains when I sneezed."

So I think I'm gonna give up sneezing and if that doesn't work, I don't know what I'll do because I'm NOT going back on the hormones. You think I'm moody now, you should have seen me on birth control pills and depo provera and depo lupron. I didn't need a costume for halloween, I WAS the wicked bitch of the midwest.

Just In Case...

...someone wants to link to me, my address is

http://ihateplumjam.blogspot.com

The title is Diary of A Mad Woman

*hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge* ;-)

As they said in the Exorcist "I mention it only in passing."

The Movie That's On My List of Movies to See Before I Die

Civil liberties set aside for security reasons. Journalists afraid to report in ways that might be considered “un-American.” Television networks more concerned with the bottom line than their responsibilities to use the medium to inform and educate. Sound familiar?

Official Site

...

Your Little Black Dress Is

Stella McCartney

What Little Black Dress Are You?

Since There Are So Many Detectives Around

I was curious as to whether or not you would answer this scenario correctly....

(Robert, this is right up your alley)

The main character in the story is this girl. When she was at the funeral of her own mother, she met this guy who was also there, but she did not know who he was.
This guy happened to fit her bill of her dream guy, so she fell in love with him at once; love at first sight etc...
A few days later, the girl killed her own sister. When the cops asked her why she did that, she gave a very shocking answer...
Do you know what her motive for killing her sister is?

Think of the answer before looking








She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again. She wanted to see him.


This was a test by famous American psychologists used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer.

In fact, a lot of arrested serial killers took part in this test and had answered it correctly.

In case you're wondering what I answered, I thought she was trying to eliminate the competition. Goes to show how I think.

I'm an Emo Kid..what's an Emo Kid?!

Emo Kid
You are 14% Rational, 14% Extroverted, 28% Brutal, and 28% Arrogant.
You are the Emo Kid, best described as a quiet pussy! You tend to be an intuitive rather than a logical thinker, meaning you rely more on your feelings than your thoughts. Not only that, but you are introverted, gentle, and rather humble. You embody all the traits of the perfect emo kid. You are a push-over, an emotional thinker, gentle to the extent of absurdity, and so humble that it even makes Jesus puke. If you write poetry, you no doubt write angsty, syrupy lines about depression, sadness, and other such redundant states of emo-being. Your personality is defective because you are too gentle, rather underconfident in yourself, decidely lacking in any rational thought, and also a bit too inhibited.

I probably made you cry, didn't I? Fucking Emo Kid.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Smartass.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hippie, the Televangelist, and the Starving Artist.

Funny, if I had been arrogant instead of humble I would be Starving Artist which is my nickname on fanfiction.net

Take the quiz here.

Oh and here's a fun fact: the word Arrogant comes from the latin word arrogare meaning "to claim for oneself." cool, huh?

Thanks Mikey, this was fun.

The quiz I mean, get your mind(s) out of the gutter.


The Pork Chop Express.


Which B-Movie Badass Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Why couldn't I have gotten the guy from They Live? Now that's a kick ass movie! I've never even heard of this one and I thought I'd seen all of Kurt Russel's movies. Go fig.

Thank God! Took me long enough.

Your 2005 Song Is

Since You've Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson "But since you've been gone I can breathe for the first time I'm so moving on" In 2005, you moved on.

What Hit Song of 2005 Are You?

While truckin' down the road of life, although all hope seems gone,
I just move on.


When I can't find a single star to hang my wish upon, I just move on,
I move on.


I run so fast, a shotgun blast can hurt me not one bit.


I'm on my toes cause heaven knows a moving target's hard to hit.


So as we play in life's ballet, we're not the dying swans, we just move on,
we move on.


Just when it seems we're out of dreams, and things have got us down.


We don't despair, we don't go there, we hang our bonnets out of town.


So there's no doubt we're well cut out to run life's marathon, we just move on,
we just move on.

So fleet of foot, we can't stay put, we just move on.
Yes, we move on!

...

You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament

Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace. You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions. You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected. It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional. You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others. While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well. At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything. You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams. You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment.

What Temperment Are You?

r.i.p. richard pryor

The end of an era. Story from the Chicago Tribune.

This made me fall over laughing.

Your Christmas Costume Should Be

Heaven's Hottie

What Should You Be for Christmas?

I guess I don't think I'm very sexy.

Anyhoo the song of the day is I Need Some Sleep by The Eels because I am exremely tired right now:


I need some sleep
It can't go on like this
I tried counting sheep
But there's one I always miss
Everyone says I'm getting down too low
Everyone says you just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go

I need some sleep
Time to put the old horse down
I'm in too deep
And the wheels keep spinning 'round
Everyone says I'm getting' down too low
Everyone says you just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go

You just gotta let it go

Did I Mention My Guinea Pigs?

I have two female guinea pigs named Phillipa Boyens and Beatrix Kiddo. Beatrix is the black and white one although that's not an actual picture of her but it looks alot like her. The pic of Phillipa is really her but she's alot bigger now. All I want for christmas is a data cable..la la la...
Anyway, Phillipa is older than Kiddo. Her first birthday is this christmas and kiddo's birthday won't be til august next year. I love them both very much as if they were my children which in a way they are. They keep my busy making sure they have food and water and toys to play with. I have to trim their nails sometimes and check them over to see if they're ok. But I wouldn't trade them for anything. They're sooo cute and the make these cute sounds when they're happy and when they miss me they squeal and I have to hold them and they calm down. Kiddo has a tendency to run down my back though. She's very hyper.
So here's to my guinea hogs as I call them and all the happines they bring me. They're getting tons of cool presents this year. shhh!! don't tell. hehehe

Stole this from Shadow who stole it from LiveJournal

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often (or at all), please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, either good or bad, real or made up. I promise not to come after you with a SPOON either way. Actually, i may do so, because it's blunt, it'll hurt more.

When you're finished, you could post this little paragraph on your Live Journal Weblog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

...

Tribute
to the Hurricane Katrina Victims I came across on a site I go to alot. Lots of video clips that aren't as serious but I love this one.

It's Snowing!

6 inches of snow on the ground and it's still snowing. We're under a snow advisory until 10pm tonight. I only had to go out once and I almost slid into a cop car! yikes! LOL I'm normally very good at driving on snow and ice I guess I'm out of practice.

It does show the persimmon seeds were right. They all had spoons in them this year meaning we'll have to shovel our way out this winter. way to go persimmons.

So now I'm spending the evening inside watching tv and looking for songs. I had to take a break from the decorating but this is what my house is probably gonna look like before it's over.

I Love this time of year.

Hot Chocolate for everybody!!

umm, sorry about the snowballs. you know who you are. ;-)

What I Most Wish I Was Doing Tomorrow(or today or however you look at it)

*sigh* I could really use the break.

Difficult Subject

I was watching the news just now and they had a story on about rape. They were talking about how rape is such a personal crime and it never leaves you and there are all this misconceptions about it. How there is this conspiracy of silence about the whole thing and that people think rape victims never move on or try to get their lives in order. It's not that they never move on,it's just, like the story on the news said, it never leaves them. It's always in the back of their minds. It distorts your perceptions of life, of men, of yourself. You don't know who to trust, you can't even trust your own judgement anymore.

Of course the PC thing to say would be to report it, put the bastard away, do your bit for King and Country, etc. etc. But it's really not that simple. Like I said, it distorts your judgement, sometimes to the point where you don't even know if you were raped at all. Maybe the guy who did it said some things that made you change your mind and make you think you overreacted.

Anyway, I'll stop rambling now and leave everyone to wonder what the hell I was talking about. I'd love to go into detail but it's christmas and I wanna be happy for a change. I guess I'll just stop watching the news.

What I Want for Christmas

*insert pic of Choxie here* I can't find one that will show up.


There are no Target stores around here and I would LOVE one of these in Champagne flavored. I figure it doesn't taste like champagne truffles but hey, it's cheaper. :-D


*again, insert pic of choxie*

I love christmas. I just put up some more decorations and when I get a data cable for my camera phone I'll post the pics here so you can see just how gawdy my house looks. LOL

(virtual) Christmas Gift for Mikey

See the full image here.

Early 19th C. Mahogany Pedestal Desk

Circa 1850, of small proportions, and fitted with three drawers across the top and further drawers to each of the pedestals.

I figured it was time you got a real non-wobbling desk. And the best part is it's not behind a pillar!

Enjoy!

Interesting Stats

Found this while browsing other blogs:


Check out these statistics:

The [Pew] report found as of November [2004], 27 percent of the 120 million adult Internet users in the U.S. read blogs, up from 17 percent recorded only 9 months earlier. This means that by the end of 2004, approximately 32 million Americans were blog readers… “

I also thought their breakdown on blog creators was interesting:

Gender: 57 percent are male.
Age: 48 percent are under 30.
Connection Speed: 70 percent have broadband at home.
Internet veterans: 82 percent have been online six years or more.
Income: 42 percent live in households earning over $50,000 annually.
Education: 39 percent have college or graduate degree

Without A Doubt....

The ugliest car I've ever seen in my life.

PC060011_fat convertible

hmm...

I've had this blog for exactly one year and it wasn't until recently that I started getting visitors. Now my hit counter is nearing 1,000. I ain't complaining, I just thought I'd mention it. I must have alot of lurkers. I changed the settings so anyone can comment now. I didn't realize it wasn't set that way. I like for people to comment and I figure if they say something I don't like I can delete it.

In other news. I had to baby sit my cousin's son tonight. He's a low functioning autistic and I'm one of the few people who can keep him from hurting himself and others. It's not that difficult really(most of the stuff he does is normal boy stuff) but he does run me ragged. I had to baby sit him because his big sister had a christmas play and he doesn't do well in social situations. (hence the "autistic" part) He's a sweet kid for the most part. One thing my mom,dad, and I got him to do that no one else, not even his teachers, could was to stop pushing the buttons of the television. Now if we could just stop him from dialing the telephone. "so, how are things in ireland right now?" LOL

even more fun with quizzes

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself You're the perfect blend of independent and caring You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

Are You a Good Girlfriend?

If only someone I knew felt that way. :-p

Have a Cluckety Cluck Cluck Day. ;-)

I'm feeling a little better today. It's been snowing all weekend but none of it has actually stuck to the ground but I like to just watch the snow rather than see it stick to the ground. It's quite peaceful. Getting back to what happened yesterday: There's this saying in my family from the bible that has been passed down for generations: don't borrow from tomorrow. Guess I jumped the gun a little.

First off I just want to say that NOTHING BAD HAPPENED! What did happen was, and this is gonna sound real strange, everyone was being nice to me. In my past experience when I start contributing to things or when people start to be nice to me other people get jealous and pissed off at me leaving me to cry my eyes out over something that was out of my control and when I didn't do anything wrong.

I have all these Lost episodes on tape(I can't afford TiVO right now, waaaahhh!!!) and my favorite so far this season is "Everybody Hates Hugo." I identified so much with him in that episode because of this speech he gives that's intercut with his flashbacks of the aftermath of him winning the Lottery. He was put in charge of the food inside the hatch and was supposed to ration all the food and everyone was getting mad at him for not letting them have one thing or another so he decides to blow it up. Rose catches him and he gives her this speech:
"I'm sorry but I can't let it happen again...you don't get it, this is gonna mess it all up... let me tell ya something Rose, we were all fine before we had any..potato chips. But now we got these potato chips and everyone's gonna want 'em. So Steve gets them, Charlie's pissed, but he's not pissed at Steve, he's pissed at me. And I'm gonna be in the middle of it. And then it's gonna be what about us? why didn't i get any potato chips? Come on, help us out hurley, why'd ya give kate the shampoo? And why didn't I get the peanut butter? Then they'll get really mad and start asking why does Hugo have everything? Why should he get to decide? Then they'll all hate me. I don't know what to do."

But in the end Rose talks him out of not blowing up the food and Hurley decides to just give all the food to everyone at once since in reality they only had enough to feed one person for about three months and it results in a very beautiful end sequence with everyone gathered around the fire eating the hatch food and communing.

Anyway, what this all means is Mikey, you became my Rose. I'm not saying you're a heavy set black woman in her 50's, I'm saying you helped me see that having something to give is not a bad thing and there is a way to give without people getting pissed off or jealous which is what I was afraid of. I panicked and you helped me by doing nothing more than talking to me. I'm not trying to embarrass you but thank you.

And I hope Jorge Garcia gets an emmy for that speech.

I need some sleep....

Maybe I Should Bow Out Gracefully

Every time I get close to people in life or on the internet it always blows up in my face. People start hating me, they think I get too much attention, they think I'm getting too close to them, they talk about me behind my back, they think I'm trying to undermind them or I'm out to get them. I have no idea how it happens. Maybe it's because I'm not very good at reading people or I have a tendency to go overboard or the people I make friends with are just destined to come up with new and exotic ways to get rid of me when all I'm trying to do is just carve out some piece of happiness for myself. Whatever it is it always ends bad and I'm afraid it's all starting again. I can't go through that whole cycle again. I think I was happier when nobody commented on my blog and I didn't think anyone was reading. Maybe they still aren't and whoever is reading now doesn't know what the hell I'm talking about but I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't want to be fucked over again. Is that plain enough?

Yet Another Funny Picture

Click Here.

....

Your Love Quote

To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best.

What Love Quote Suits You?

The One About Snowballs

I threw a (virtual) snowball at Mikey and he told me some stories of his glory days as a snowball fighter so I got to thinking about mine:

I remember in high school I used to hang out on the corner. Actually there were two corners where people would hang out sort of like a mayberry version of rival gangs. Anyway, we got into a snowball fight and the opposing side shattered the window of an apartment building where we would hang out on the porch. The cops wouldn't let us near the place again. The strange thing about that was most of the cops were and are my relatives. It's weird having cousins with the power to throw you in jail. Not that I went to jail, the only thing I've ever gotten was one speeding ticket two years ago.
Anyway, it's supposed to snow all weekend here and I'll be watching it fall and thinking about my next target. In the meantime,here's the link to the virtual snowballs: Have Fun!

Guys Like That You're Sensitive

And not in that "cry at a drop of a hat" sort of way You just get most guys - even if you're not trying to Guys find it is easy to confide in you and tell you their secrets No wonder you tend to get close quickly in relationships!

What Do Guys Like About You?