Let's See What I Can Talk About Today

Well, today I sneezed. I know what you're thinking but stick with me, my story gets better. My mom was in the room when I sneezed and when I did I grabbed my lower abdomen. I felt this weird pain like toothpicks being stuck into me from the inside. My mom said "you should get in a more comfortable position when you sneeze again." I said "Why? It was just a sneeze that made me twinge. No big deal right?"

To which my mother replied "Why do you think I had a hysterectomy?"

To which I replied "Because you had a shitload of fibroids" actually it was more like "because you had a shitload of fibroi...ohhh...it hurt like that when you sneezed."

She said "yep. I used to strech my legs out when I felt it coming on."

I started to get upset and began to argue "but, i've been laproscoped,ct scanned, had 2 trans-vag ultrasounds, and more pelvics than i care to think about. they found nothing each time. If it's there they can't see it with today's technology or it's too small to see."

To which she replied "well, they didn't find mine until 6 years after I started having the pains when I sneezed."

So I think I'm gonna give up sneezing and if that doesn't work, I don't know what I'll do because I'm NOT going back on the hormones. You think I'm moody now, you should have seen me on birth control pills and depo provera and depo lupron. I didn't need a costume for halloween, I WAS the wicked bitch of the midwest.