What It's Like to Go Off the Deep End

My mother has been extremely upset lately. Any way I describe how she's been wouldn't do it justice but trust me, it's bad. Not like "I'm gonna kill myself or knock over a 7-11" bad but bad.

Here's what happened: My cousin(her nephew)is getting a divorce. He beat the crap out of his wife and she had him arrested and took out a restraining order against him. He is not allowed any direct contatct with her. Notice I said "direct" meaning somebody else can contact her on his behalf. He has been coming over every friggin' day asking my mom to talk to her. She has a wide variety of medical problems and cannot have alot of stress in her life. So whenever my cousin comes over and spills his guts it gets to her. He has three kids that she loves and is afraid of never seeing them again. She has tried and tried to get them back together to no avail and has been losing sleep over it. At 4am this morning she woke up with a nose bleed from the stress.

That's problem number one, here's problem number 2:

My other cousin,her niece, has been lying her ass off about where she's been and what she's doing. This weekend for example she was supposed to be with her friends but she was with three boys who are much older than her and they were smoking the ganja and god know what else they were doing. We took her to the health department for drug testing. She tested postitive for marijuana and opiates. The opiates were from the Codene she was taking for her bad tooth, she won't own up to where the pot came from so we just assumed she was smoking it over the weekend. So she had a little talk with her niece about all this and her niece just started trash talking everything under the sun and wouldn't let anyone get a word in. And that's when my mom blew up and yelled at her til she was blue in the face. It was like talking to a brick wall.

Mom decided it was best if she didn't see anyone for a while because all she can do when they are around is cry and yell and shout and cry and wonder what the hell happened.

Of course why is this any of her problem? Well, she helped raise both of them and she feels responsible for them. She has lost so much in the past few years she can't take much more.

She's calm for now but I don't know how long that's gonna last. That's what worries me. I'm always the one who has to pick her up when she falls apart. Everyone else is doing their own thing. I don't have a job so I'm the only one around all the time.
No wonder I sleep so much and stay up so late. I have a feeling she's gonna start doing the same.