How to be Gas Lighted by your surgeon.

March last year I had surgery for my pelvic pain which had be going on for almost a year and landed me in the emergency room. The doctor was busy that day so he told my mother whilst I was still unconcious that the source of my pain was the fact that I had a cyst on my left ovary, the ovary and tubed were twisted and stuck to the front of my uterus.

I had went to five doctors including the ER guy and him, had two trans-vag ultrasounds,countless pelvic exams(one said I had an enlarged uterus), a regular ultrasound and I don't know how many times I peed in a cup to convince these people that if I hadn't had a positive pregnancy test by now I am either a) not pregnant b) using someone else's urine or c) giving birth to a water buffalo.

And don't get me started on the birth control pills, depo shots and lupron shots and pills that start your period after everything's been fucked up by the pills and shots.

OK when I got to my first post op check up my surgeon wasn't there. He was sick and had to go home. First of all, don't whine to be about the damn sniffles after I've just been carved up like a thanksgiving turkey 'cause I got no sympathy at this point and second don't drop me as a patient when it's time for my second checkup.
But I digress. Nikki, the surgeon's capable asisstant(ok i can't spell, shoot me),showed me the results of my surgery complete with pics and how I became my own discovery channel special and none of the above was mentioned. It wasn't in the pictures, not in his surgery records, nowhere, nada, zip. And to top it all off I'm still in pain after a week when they said I should be back on my feet in two days. Oh, and while I was home recovering my sutures ruptured and I was bleeding like a stuck pig for a while(I have the stained clothing and bed sheets to prove it) and he wouldn't let anyone put anything more than a glorified band aid on it. Thank god my mom is a nurse.

When it was time for my second checkup he had dropped me as a patient because i was a minute and a half late trying to arrange to pay my $5,000 bill. (they charged me for my slippy socks! WTF?! It's on my bill: $5.00 for slippy socks! I can get 'em at Wal Mart cheaper.) SO I never got to ask him a damned thing about any of this and i think he diconnected his phone because I can never seem to get ahold of him. I mean, if he was like that Dr. House guy I would understand. I love that show, that guy knows what he's doing, he's a little (ok, alot) unorthadox BUT at least at the end of the day his patients are cured and can go home. Too bad he's fictional because he needs to get his ass to my hometown and cure me because I'm still in pain and my doctor won't speak to me. IT'S FUN TO BE ME!! YIPPPIE! I'M ALL SMILES HERE, I'M GONNA THROW A PARTY! Where's the tylenol and thermacare?